


Confessions Of A Bleeding Heart

by germanjj



Series: Once You've Crossed That Line [4]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-08
Updated: 2012-02-08
Packaged: 2017-10-30 19:51:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/335444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/germanjj/pseuds/germanjj
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Sandy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Confessions Of A Bleeding Heart

Chad practically giggled, almost spraying the beer all over his own super-expensive hardwood floor, and that's when Jared decided he wasn't drunk enough for this.

"Dude," Jordan shouted, way too loud, but he was drunk too and it wasn't even nine p.m. yet. 

Chad actually pointed at Jordan and laughed, calling him a loser, and the bottle in his hand was looking like it was about to slip any second now.

Jared didn't care. Because that's what he was here for, right? So he could not care. For once not care about anything or anyone at all. Not the empty spot on his finger, or the empty spot in his bed.

"Okay, now your turn, Murray. Give our moping guy here a good story." Jordan patted Jared's shoulder sympathetically as he challenged Chad.

"Okay, let's see: What was the best sex I ever had?" The blond guy actually looked like he was giving that question a good thought, tilting his head to the side. "Sophia."

Jared's and Jordan's eyes met and they let out an exaggerated groan at the same time. 

"That's lame, dude," Jordan told him. "Yeah, way too predictable," Jared slurred and maybe he wasn't as sober as he'd thought.

Chad just shrugged. "'s true though. Our wedding night was ... ," he grinned at the memory. "Guys, you got no idea."

"Just don't let Kenzie hear that, man." Jared wiped his eyes, a low headache burning behind them, and reached for another beer, the empty bottles starting to fill the table.

"Okay, big guy," Chad teased. "Now let's hear your story. What was the best sex you ever had, huh?"

"Yeah, you can tell us, man," Jordan nudged his leg with his foot, encouraging him. "Was it Sandy? Or some stripper? Your first girl in high school? Come on! Who was it?"

Jared looked from one friend to the other, shaking his head. "You're unbelievable."

"Dude, come on!" Chad urged him on from his spot on the couch. "No one will know. You can give us any weird answer you want and we won't even make fun of you."

"Speak for yourself, Murray!" Jordan grinned and then his eyes went back to Jared, raising an eyebrow to show that he was waiting for Jared's answer.

Jared groaned. He knew that his friends weren't gonna give up on that. It was their weird way to cheer him up and Jared knew that they were really trying and he was grateful for that. He couldn't help the thought though that someone else would make a better job of it. Would maybe feed him a good steak and comforting company. Would just be there.

Jared couldn't help but crave that someone's company.

"Dude, no spacing out here," Jordon interrupted his thoughts. "What was your best sex ever, huh? Who was the girl?"

Jared didn't even have to think much about it. The answer always just there, hiding in the dark.

He nipped on his beer, not looking one of his friends in the eyes. "A long time ago," he answered, eyes not focusing on anything. "And it wasn't even real sex, you know? Not all the way." He put his bottle on the table, ready to get up. "And it wasn't a girl."

He didn't wait for reactions, didn't even really care what his friends would say to that. It was something else he had in mind then.

 

He closed the kitchen door behind him, resting against it. His brain was too fuzzy to think about the timezone Jensen would be in, but he would have called anyway if he had known.

Jensen picked up after the second ring. "Jared? Hey!"

Jared closed his eyes briefly and let Jensen's voice wash over him. 

"Hey man, 's this a bad time?"

He heard shuffling noises in the backround. "No, just wait a second." Jensen seemed to walk somewhere, then Jared heard him close a door. "Okay, you got my full attention."

"I miss you." Jared sighed, the words rushing out of him before he could even think about it.

"You drunk?" came Jensen's reply, sounding something between amused and concerned.

"Maybe. A little," Jared confessed, letting his head fall back against the door, closing his eyes.

"You're at Chad's?"

Jared nodded first, before he remembered to answer out loud. "Yeah. Jordan's here too. Trying to cheer me up."

"Aw, Great."

Jared smiled at the tone of Jensen's voice. He could practically see his friend roll his eyes. "Wish it was you though."

Jensen sighed at the other end. "I'm sorry man. I wish I could be there, too."

"Wish you were here with me," Jared's voice fell into a whisper. "Wish I could ..."

"Jared," Jensen replied, his voice low and breathy, like he was already picking up on what Jared tried to say.

"I didn't forget it, you know? That night ... I keep thinking about it." Jared shifted his stance, leaned heavier on the door, spread his legs a little.

"Jared, stop. You're drunk, man." But Jensen didn't sound so sure; his voice trembling just slightly.

"Wish I could touch you right now," Jared confessed and felt his stomach flutter.

"Jesus, Jared."

"Are you alone? Are you ..? Can you...?" Jared gulped heavily, shocked at what he was thinking, doing. He felt himself harden at the sound of his friend's voice, felt something hot rush through his veins at the thought of Jensen alone in his trailer, touching himself.

"Shit, Jared, what are you doing?" He could hear the strain in Jensen's voice, could hear that he was getting to him.

"Sometimes I wonder ...," Jared panted heavily into the phone," what you would feel like. What your cock would feel like." And then, as an afterthought, "Taste like."

Jared shuddered at the gasp he could hear through the phone, let his hand wander down to his groin. 

"Holy fuck, Jared, what the hell?" 

Jensen sounded breathless; shocked or turned on, Jared couldn't tell. If he hadn't been so damn drunk he probably could have. But as it were, he could only think about Jensen's voice and about how he could make his friend sound like that again.

"I want to, you know? There are times that ... that I look at you and just want to ... want to ...," Jared looked for the right word, "just want you, Jensen."

The other end stayed silent for a while. Jared could hear Jensen's ragged breathing, but Jensen didn't answer at first.

When he did, his voice sounded stronger and more sure than before; woke Jared up a little. "You listen to me carefully, Jared, alright? You're drunk. You're hurt, frustrated and horny. I get that. Believe me, I do. So, please, just fucking ... jerk off, take a shower and get some sleep, alright man? Let the guys take care of you. But don't ... don't do anything stupid, alright?"

Jared laughed bitterly, the frustration and hurt back in full force. "Like with you?"

"Jared," Jensen pleaded on the other end. "Please. I'm begging you here. Don't do something stupid. Let's talk about it when we're back home, okay?"

"Home?" Jared asked dumbly, a new feeling mixing to his mess already, a good one.

"Yeah, man," Jensen chuckled, like he noticed the change in Jared's voice.

"So you're moving in with me?"

"Dude," Jensen answered immediately. "I got my stuff there already and sure as hell can't find something else before shooting starts again. May as well unpack and stay, man."

Jared let out a deep breath, felt all the tension seep out of his body. On wobbly legs, he moved over to the kitchen table, let himself fall down on a chair. "Thanks, man. Really," Jared whispered into the phone.

"Don't mention it," Jensen whispered back, intimate. "So you go take care of yourself, alright?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Good," Jared could hear Jensen smile on the other end. "Or else I will kick Murray's ass."

Jared laughed at that, couldn't even remember when he had the last time. "Jordan's here too, you know?"

Jensen huffed. "Well then, Chad's gonna get his share too."

 

Jared still stared at his phone long after Jensen had hung up. For the first time in the last weeks, he felt like everything could really be okay again. Whatever had happened with Sandy; when he got back to Vancouver, he had someone to come home to.

"You okay?" 

Jared hadn't even heard Chad enter the kitchen and he jerked at the sudden noise.

"Uhm, yeah, yeah." Jared fumbled with his phone, putting it away.

Chad didn't answer, just closed the door silently behind him and took the seat opposite to Jared.

"Ackles?" he asked and Jared nodded, knowing full well that his friend wasn't talking about the phone call.


End file.
